An Email Exchange with Edward: Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Dear Edward,

I'm not sure if you know this or not but M. broke up with me. I thought you should know if you didn't already find out.

I need him back so bad, Edward. I'm trying not to talk to him so much, I don't want to be a pest about everything. I just feel like he made a mistake though. Whether he actually made a mistake or not, he's not himself right now. Do you think his mom got to him (she never liked me). What has he told you about it?

--Out of my Mind


Dear OOMM,

yes, i heard and i've been thinking about you since. i'm really sorry to hear that and i don't know what comfort i can provide, but want you to know if you need something, please ask.

Nobody "got" to anyone, OOMM; M. made his own decision and he's responsible for it. Your job right now is to focus on yourself. I know that seems impossibly difficult right now, but you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself: eating right, trying to sleep, getting your work done as best you can. Also, this is a time to lean on your friends; as you would for them, they'll leap to support you.

having someone you love break up with you is one of the hardest things in life; you won't feel much worse than this, ever. but you're going to have to be resilient. right now, there's not much you can do to get him back but there's plenty that you can do to drive him away.

with love,
Edward


(a couple days later)

dear edward,

i'm doing a lot better than i was. for the first 3 days i wasn't eating or sleeping, and i couldn't keep my mind on anything but M.. we had a soccer game the day after he broke up with me and i was yelled at by the ref multiple times, he told me to "calm down" because i was being "too aggressive", haha. ive realized recently that i have amazing friends who can do just as much, if not more, to keep me happy. before the breakup i was completely unaware of how many of my friends are truly there for me. i would say right now my friendships with people are at their peak. i've also made a lot more friends.

thank you, OOMM

Dear OOMM,

i'm so glad. the ancient greeks described being in love as being possessed, literally, so i can totally imagine you in that soccer game, running around like a madwoman :) and when these things happen, you can do all sorts of self-destructive things, like sleep with the wrong person, binge drink, etc. so i'm glad you're avoiding that. and when you're down, you discover the deep resevoirs of support from friends that you never would have without the breakup. you've been "held", as the quakers say. good stuff.

with love,
Edward